Choice
by petite etoile22
Summary: A return of an old friend forces Harry to make a choice. A choice which has lives hanging in the balance.
1. Alone in the dark

Staring at her motionless body they wondered how they had come to this. Was the first catalyst cotterdam? Ruth's return? Her unfortunate late night at the grid? The long established habit of refusing to knock upon entering Harry's office? One cannot place a point on when these things begin, one cannot prevent what unforeseen. And so, the team simply took in the devastation that surrounded them. Ruth caught sight of Harry in the hospital canteen, he looked tired and dishevelled. She sat down across from him and looked into his eyes.

"It's not your fault" she told him.

"It's Mace's." he stated.

Harry looked around the grid, it was empty and silent. Ruth had gone to get some food and Ros was currently drinking her 6th cup of coffee in the canteen. Harry had to collect some files from the archives, sign them off and then he would be finished. Moments after he left a figure emerged from the pods and entered Harry's office. He purposely made his way to Harry's collection of decanters. He scanned them carefully and then slipped a vial of liquid into Harry's favourite scotch. He then took his place in the shadows of the grid. Harry returned and made his way directly to his office. Bloody morons at the archives, how hard was it to give him some pieces of paper? But no, he had to wait until tomorrow, when Juliet would lecture him on the art of timekeeping. He got down his decanter of best scotch and poured himself a glass, it was only when he had swallowed its contents that he saw the figure emerge from the darkness.

"you"

"hello Harry"

Half an hour had passed and Harry was just coming round from the drug when he heard the familiar swish of the pods. She was back.

"My, my, I seems we have a visitor."

"Oh god, no" he struggled at his bonds.

The female entered his office without knocking. Just like it always had been.

"Harry, you have to sign-" she stopped short at the sight of Harry.

"Well this just doesn't get any better, does it?"

It was then she noticed the gun and felt the butt connect with her head. She slumped down and Mace began to tie her up.

"I suppose you're wondering where I got the gun from. It came from your own department. For homeland security you should take better care of your own"

"Where do you get off?" the remark came from the female.

"You're in no position to talk Rosalind" he snapped "Although I must say you pick your female agents well"

"You touch her and I will kill you" Harry threatened.

"Who? Ros or Ruth? You have to choose" he laughed. Harry stopped short, Ruth wasn't even in the situation. But she was, directly or indirectly, she was and she always would be.

"So who is it? Harry, this is torture. And this, Rosalind is true power" he sneered pinning her against the wall. Harry had managed to free one hand and get to a gun he had hidden in his drawer. It was against protocol, but when did Harry Pearce ever truly listen to protocol? Mace flung Ros to the floor and aimed the gun at her head. "I'll be kind and make the choice for you"

Meanwhile, the team had gathered at the pods. Ruth had called them all when she had heard about the lockdown. "This doesn't seem like a normal lockdown" Malcolm stated upon arrival. As much as they didn't want to admit it, the team had felt the same. Then Ruth got a surveillance report. "Mace is in there and two guns are missing from the arms store. Ros is also with them" Malcolm put his head in his hands. "She could get caught in the crossfire" Adam put his hand on his friends shoulder, "Ros is tough the chances of her getting hit are a mill-" Two shots rang out through the grid.

Mace lay dead on the office floor. Ros lay beside him bleeding. In some twist of fate, Harry's shot had managed to affect Mace's aim, making the bullet penetrate her abdomen as oppose to her skull. Harry knelt beside her trembling body.

"Ros?"

"H-Harry?"

"You're alright. Well you're not dead"

"Yet"

Harry removed his shirt and use the material to staunch the ever-increasing flow of blood. He phoned Adam.

"Adam put us on speakerphone. We're coming out"

"Is everyone okay?"

"Just put us on speakerphone"

He returned to the office and gathered Ros in his arms. The team gasped as they saw him lay her out on the floor beside the pods. She was feverish and the blood surrounding her wound was dark and sticky.

"You're on speakerphone"

"T-They can hear me?"

"yes"

"H-Harry, y-you should really talk to maintenance. I-Its freezing in here." They laughed but they knew the gravity of the comment. She was dying.

"I promise there'll be a reshuffle. Ruth where are the paramedics?"

"There'll be here soon. But we have to get the pods to open first."

"Shit" the next half an hour was spent in silence as they tried to get the door open.

"Harry? D-Don't leave me. You're going to think I'm worthless but.."

"Why would we think you're worthless?"

"Because I'm afraid of the dark. I don't want to die alone, Harry. I just don't want to die alone," she wept.

"We'll be with you all the way Ros" Ruth said through the intercom.

"Harry, y-you made the right choice." Ros sighed and as the pod doors finally opened, her eyes glazed over with an unnatural calm.

Malcolm came to meet them in the canteen. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, it was the first time they had seen him cry since Colin. They couldn't determine what had caused the tears, joy or sorrow.

"Is she okay?" Harry asked.


	2. Christmas

"See for yourself" he retorted and went to get a coffee.

"At least she's still alive" Ruth comforted.

"We could be visiting her in the morgue"

"Harry stop it. She's alive" she replied forcefully.

Ruth was correct in her assumptions, Ros was alive. They entered the hospital room in silence. Ros exuded the air of calm that surrounds most critically injured people. Her face held a dormant look as if she was taking part in a conversation she wasn't interested in. her blonde hair was crinkled from where they had washed the blood out. The thin blue hospital blanket was drawn up to her shoulders and her arms lay on either side of her body. A tube had been inserted into her mouth and the steady stream of air being pushed into and out of her body could be heard. Various other tubes were supplying her body with blood and vital fluids. Underneath the concoction of hums, the steady beat of a heart monitor rang through. The final touch to Ros's symphony. The couple took seats beside her bed and waited. Not that Ros noticed, she was in a world of her own.

She was sitting in her father's study. For some reason she felt like she was wearing her heart on her sleeve, something she hadn't done in a long time. She blushed as she saw her father enter and sit at his desk.

"You called" she whispered timidly.

"Ah yes. I wanted to talk to you about last night."

Ros blushed furiously. There had been a storm and she had been so terrified that she had begged to be let into her parent's room. Her father had refused but her mother simply laughed and told her to get in. She knew as she fell asleep in her mother warm and loving embrace, that she would have to deal with the consequences later.

"That was the last time" she murmured in defence. Her father gave her an icy stare.

"I would like to believe that Rosalind but I can't. You are seven years old and still afraid of the dark. To be honest, it's ridiculous and embarrassing. You will sleep in your own room regardless of your petty fear. Do I make myself clear?"

"But-"

"Do I make myself clear? It's for your own good. You have to stop being scared of everything. You have to grow up."

"Yes daddy" she wept. Ros had never felt so devastated in all her life.

If it wasn't Malcolm, it was Adam or Zaf or jo, or some other member of the grid. Even Juliet had graced Ros's bedside once. It pleased the nurses to know that she was never alone. However, that hospital room felt like the loneliest place in the world. It was like sitting in a void. When they talked it felt as though they were simply talking to themselves. It had been four months since the accident and she hadn't fluttered an eyelid. Ros just lay there like the eye of the storm that was her life. Malcolm had been avoiding Harry as best he could since that night. He didn't want to talk about what happened or what might happen. He didn't want to talk at all. So he did not expect to see Harry in her room at 1 in the morning.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's my…" his voice trailed off. What was he going to say, shift? As if caring for someone was a chore? It dawned on Harry how cold the job had made him and how lucky he was to have Ruth.

"Guilt won't wake her up" he said coldly.

"I'm not guilty of anything " harry replied.

"She doesn't blame you, she's not like that. She may seem cold, but she's not really like that."

"You still use the present tense" Harry noted. Most people had started to refer to Ros in the past now.

"I know I should be preparing, that's what a good spooks does. She's been out for four months. She arrested three times in theatre, not to mention the countless times after. She has no spleen harry, she had half her immune system ripped out because some bastard decided to put a bullet through it. But I can't just give up, I can't"

"Why?"

"Because she dreams harry, she dreams" he whispered. They spent the rest of the time in silence, searching for a sign from Ros. Unfortunately, she wasn't ready to give one yet. In the early hours of the morning the two men walked away, their "shift" over.

Another month had passed and there was still no improvement from Ros. She had not deteriorated but nor had she improved. It was now December, and Christmas seeped into every building in London except the grid. The team dealt with the threats effectively and efficiently but they couldn't deal with the potential loss of their colleague. The tinsel hung limp in the grid reflecting the mood of all its inhabitants. Jo sat at her desk fiddling with a pen. She had just come back from her shift at the hospital. Suddenly, she was struck by an idea. If Ros wasn't able to celebrate Christmas with them, they would celebrate with her. By the time the rest of the team was leaving, Jo was standing by the pods with three big carrier bags and a huge grin on her face.

"What are you doing?" Adam asked.

"We are having a party at Ros's"

"Isn't that a bit insensitive?" Ruth cut in.

"Ros's hospital room, Adam. It's Christmas and no one should be alone whether they know it or not. Now help me shift these."

The team each helped take something to carry to the hospital. Not soon after they arrived, Ros's room was done up like a Christmas tree. Tinsel and lights hung and flashed everywhere, and the team were all wearing party hats. Music was blaring out of the small CD player in the corner, Zaf had even taken the liberty of hanging a piece of mistletoe over the room's entrance. Soon the fizzy pop and conversation was flowing.

Ros was dreaming about her mother again. It wasn't memorable, Ros was seven and she just sat in her lap being rocked back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes she found herself in the dark but someone always pulled back with a sharp jolt. Today she was curled up in her mother's arms when suddenly she was struck by a strange feeling in her throat. There was something in her throat. Something had slid down down her throat. As she began to choke, she thrashed out in fear. Her mother tried to hold her still but it was no use, Ros was too hysterical. Ros was now kneeling on the floor retching and clawing at her throat. She had to get it out. She had to get it out. As she blacked out, the last thing Ros remembered was her mother scooping her up in her arms and removing the mystery object. "you're alright Rosalind, you're alright…"


	3. Anniversary

_When Ros came round from her sedation, she found that only Harry was there to greet her. The pain was in her head was staggering and her eyes were almost blinded by the intense light after spending so long in the dark. She was vaguely aware of the décor too._

"_Tinsel?" she croaked._

"_Christmas. You were out for 5 months"_

"…_Where are the others?"_

"_Ruth's outside, the others are at home. Do you know happened?"_

"_Let me guess…I got hit by a car?"_

"_You were shot. They had to remove your spleen…There's someth-"_

"_No spleen?"_

"_Yes, that means-"_

"_I know what it means. It means my immune system is currently buggered"_

"_There's something else, Rosalind"_

"_Can't it wait? I'm exhausted"_

"_It's been playing on my mind and I want to put it at rest. Tell me you didn't sleep with Mace"_

"_I didn't sleep with him. Please Harry, I have standards… 5 months?"_

"_We thought we were going to lose you"_

"_But you didn't. You made the right choice. Just remind me to knock on your door in the future."_

**5 Years Later…**

There was a knock the door. Harry smiled to himself. It was Ros; she always knocked upon entering his office. It was a small habit she picked up after everything she had been through. A small sign revealing the event that had taken place and the fact that even the strongest fortresses can be infiltrated. Harry put the file he was reading on his desk and got down his best decanter of scotch, grape juice and two glasses.

"Come in, Rosalind"

"Harry, I see you've provided the drink. Well, I've provided the sustenance, Thai alright?"

"Perfect," he indicated to the blanket on the floor "please, take a seat"

"You're wife doesn't mind me stealing you for the night then?" Ros inquired wryly as she settled down onto the blanket and began to lay out the food.

"No, it was Ruth's idea in the first place. What does your husband think?"

"Malcolm? I left him alone with a cloaking device and a screwdriver. He's having the time of his life"

Harry laughed and began to pour the drinks as Ros dished out the various foods. The pair worked in silence, pondering the reasons that had inspired Ruth to make this arrangement all that time ago. It was most probably for closure, for them to face what had happened that very night and to appreciate the fact that things could have been much, much worse. For example, Harry could be visiting her graveside right now. They both raised their glasses.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been five years" Harry muttered.

"I can't believe I'm still alive after all that time" Ros replied sardonically.

"That might have something to do with you become a desk spook?"

"Harry… I was shot in your office. Shot. In your office. On the grid"

"Alright, I see your point" Harry chuckled.

" How's Henry?"

"Oh you know, he's five, loves James Bond, wants to be a spy…"

"Have you told him about the budget cuts? But really, it's sweet. He wants to be just like his dad"

"And how are yours?"

"I'm getting Malcolm castrated after this," she pointed to her bump, "he just doesn't know it yet"

"And this would be…?" Harry chuckled.

"_These_ would be number 5 and 6"

"Twins again?" Harry laughed openly this time. He and Ruth thought Henry was a handful but Ros' family surprised him. Soon after her departure from the hospital, her and Malcolm had gotten together. Therefore, it was of no surprise to the team when Ros had announced her pregnancy soon after Ruth's. What was a surprise was the fact that Ros had taken to it like a duck to water. Harry had made a mint on Zaf's books when she had gotten pregnant a second and third time. 5 years down the line, Ros was now the proud mother of four (soon to be six) children: Penelope and Helen (5), Edward (3), and Catherine (4). Harry knew that she secretly loved every minute of it.

"Thought of any names yet?" he probed.

"Harry, I know you do Zaf's books. So no, I won't give away the gender. Anyway, we don't know."

"You do know Rosalind, that you have devoured nearly all our food"

"Harry, you do know that I am now eating for three. Nice carpet, I was surprised budget let you change it so fast. Only took 6 months"

"They might have been persuaded by the two pints of your blood on it"

"Yes, that might have been a swing factor" Ros mused.

"We've been doing this for five years now and two things are still on my mind."

"Really, what?"

"Did you lie to me that day in the hospital?"

"That's irrelevant"

"Ros…"

"I cheated on his youngest brother when we where in uni. I was young and I was stupid"

"Ahh…What about your fear?"

"Of what?"

"Of the dark, I've been waiting nearly 5 years to find out why"

"You're a very patient man Harry Pearce. But my reason isn't that special."

"I'm still intrigued"

"It just reminded me of being alone. I was seven and there was a storm and so I got in with my parents. The next day my father told me off, I had never seen him so angry. He told me I had to conquer my fear. Alone. And when I couldn't, I was shipped off to boarding school to gain independence. In other words, to be alone and not a shameful sight to my father's eyes"

"And you say you've never been to Tring?" Harry replied with an eyebrow raised. Ros laughed playfully.

"Thank you Harry"

"For what?"

"For being there that night, for holding me, for keeping my fears at bay, for making sure that I wouldn't have died alone, for being by my bedside, for giving me away at my wedding…for giving me a family, which is damn sight more than my own have ever done. So thank you, thank you for making the right choice"

"Yes, I suppose I did. To choice."

"To choice"

The glasses clinked in the calm silence of the grid, the sound resounded similar to the shots fired five years ago. Only this time there was no bloodshed, only laughter.


End file.
